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Good morning. It’s been a while since my last entry, or to be more specific, it’s been sometime since I sat down and creatively wrote from the heart. By origin I am an artist by any means necessary. But sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the wind, and it feels like I’ve thrown out my anchor some time ago. I’m just waiting for it to catch some proverbial ground.

Look, I’ll be honest… I’m afforded more in life than most are, and I say this with the utmost of sincerity and appreciation whereas the majority of individuals in my position won’t even seem to care. Believe me, I’ve met a colorful palette of dream-chasers. All of them interesting to the tenth degree, yet (with the exception of a few) seem to be missing a constituent element. Which in my opinion is humility.

I don’t care who you are. To get to where you are at now, there HAD to be some sort of struggle or adversity you battled with to realize change is imminent. Each and every living person on this planet is different from the other, we are cut from the same cloth but carry a unique signature; and I believe this changes and evolves as time goes on.

For instance, as children we don’t expect the world to express itself in any other way than how we would perceive our day. And I can faintly remember waking up to the sound of my mom’s cooking coupled with the morning news my father would always frequent. Fast forward to school, friends, television then sleep. At this stage you wouldn’t anticipate domestic violence, a messy divorce and a family divide with years of trauma to follow.

But that’s my particular, and I know for damn sure some had it worse.

It takes just a step to walk a thousand miles towards what you think might be the right direction. And after a few missteps you’ll realize that there is no “definitive right” there’s just forward. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we are all a product of what was, be it an illuminated place - or - a darkened hallway. The signature we carry reflects how we adapted to the situation. This is what makes us beautiful. This is how we learn to appreciate every breath given and taken. This is what propels the earth forward. 

And as I’m writing this, I can’t help but to feel saddened by the absence of my mother and father. Although I’ve realized nothing will ever separate our love for each other. So I’m comforted in that absolute truth.

Life is good now and I suppose it has always been; in relation to everything above. It’s moving fast and I’m adjusting my sails. The anchor reference from the top of this entry was a metaphor to wanting to slow down to appreciate the sights before I wander out again. But come what may, I am not afraid.

I’m turning 30 in just a few weeks, yet I still feel like a kid. A lot of me is still figuring this stuff out, which is the fun part in my opinion. I’m allowed to make mistakes and to fumble en route to the goal line, contrary to what my friends and partners might want or demand. It’s cleverly disguised as being irresponsible, but it’s obvious I think otherwise.

Live, love, cry, dance, fall, get back up, try, run, walk, move, laugh, fly, create, vent, let go, sleep, wake up, fight, struggle, realize, appreciate and most importantly smile. Become the first of you and never look back, but don’t forget what made you into the beautiful person you are today. And embrace your humility as it will always be part of you; YOUR SIGNATURE. 

Thanks for reading. 

John Darko

Another entry from 2008. CONTRAST. ALL LOVE. 

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As previously stated, I have been spending more time with my family. Two days ago I picked up my pops and took him to Hollywood, I gave him the tour, re-visited familiar stops and what have you. Mind you, my Dad has a disability due to his former addiction to drugs. Basically, he has a hard time getting around.

I’m not a stranger to disaster, especially of this sort. I’m better from all these experiences, made me into the person I am today.

Ever since I left home for school, life has changed drastically for me. Everything aiming for the better. I had a clear vision of the road ahead of me and I had just gained a new found clarity that helped me grow into a well adjusted person. All was illuminated. 

Unfortunately things weren’t looking up; back at the old house. To save a long and complex entry I’m gonna try and keep it short. Because not only do I think this would be better transcribed into multiple chapters, but I also do not want to put any of you to sleep. I’m considerate that way.

So, back to the rant. School’s over and some time has passed since I’ve been part of a functional household. Judging from the occasional visit and weekend phone call. I assumed things were just as they always were - chaotic yet controlled. My rational was always to the tune of “Oh, this is nothing. Just give it a few days. Someone will get over it.” Boy, was I wrong!

I guess my occasional appearances have morphed into mandatory sit ins where I get to play the moderator! So now I get to wear this **** hat. I guess sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. 

Anyhow, so quickly after breaking up an argument involving my pops and multiple parties. I offered him a trip to my apartment. This marking the first time I invited him to my diggs. Like I said, long story. So after a few stops here and there and a bite to eat at Grecco’s, I offer to drive him up to my zen spot. A place where I have felt an instant attraction to since my move to Hollyweird. So, we’re cruising down Mullholand Drive and without hesitation I bank a hard right into the woodsy area better known as the Hollywood Hills. The place where the rich and famous dwell. 

Now I’m pointing at houses, admiring the views. My Dad’s doing the same, smiling at my innocence while I childishly name off the celebrities that live in the area. He’s laughing and almost snickering at my ambitions to one day purchase homes for everyone. I can’t blame him because I don’t know how long I have been saying that to everyone. One of my Mom’s favorite quotes to me “Son, don’t count all your chickens before they hatch!!!”

So we’re winding up and down the concrete hills as we get closer to my zen. I turn down a long road taking us behind the Hollywood reservoir, a side of Hollywood that my pops has never seen. A few more turns and we’re driving through the Lake Hollywood Estates. I tell my Dad to look up, to see the iconic Hollywood sign in all of it’s glory. He flinches and mutters “you can throw a rock and hit it, if you wanted to.” I laugh because he always says that.

Now just around the bend is an incline that leads to a separate neighborhood but before it, is a small little turn out that leads to a cliff where you can see the entire reservoir and some of the city, the Hollywood sign is also in full view. 

I used to come to this spot when I was feeling stressed, when I felt like too much was sitting on my shoulders I would let go and take in the beauty. I would gaze at the Hollywood sign and think of how many people have sat here, at this very spot where I’m sitting, to do the same exact thing I’m doing. It was sort of my therapy. 

So, we park (illegally) and my Dad gets out and walks to the ledge. I follow. He turns to me and says “Did you know I used to take you here when you were just a baby? This exact place used to put you to sleep.” I stood there speechless, as I just stumbled upon this great discovery. 

The next few minutes, I stood quiet with my Father as we looked out at the reservoir and for what seemed like the first time in a long time, there was peace between us.

Wrote this back in 2008. I’m glad I was able to readjust. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Life is all about the contrast folks ; )

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http://johndarko.blogspot.com/2008/06/will-work-for.html

Hey everybody. Thought I’d talk a little bit about my current job situation and for that matter everybody else’s.

For the past three and a half months, I’ve had my nose to the grindstone. I’ve been getting up early, circling the classifieds, phoning companies direct, combing internet websites and what have you but still no luck. I’ve came pretty close to the tune of a few interviews. But even then I had to come back and resell myself to every higher up until I can finally get the obligatory “we’re just going to go with someone else” speech. I’ve even been promised jobs in return for my services. Nice try but no cigar.

The funny thing is…I’m not complaining. The farther and farther I get in this industry, the more and more I start to understand how it works. It’s natural to feel like you’re failing when facing the monolith that is Hollywood. Think about it, this place is the Mecca for the common American dream. Only in Hollywood (and well maybe New York) can you walk down the boulevard and meet tons of would be signers, dancers, actors, writers, painters, directors…hell, the place where they film “American Idol” is only a hop, skip and a jump away from my apartment. Irony in it’s finest moment, if you ask me.

Everyday we fight to be heard and sad to say, it’s one fierce competition after another.

So I’ll give anybody credit for making it out here to fulfill a dream, swimming with the sharks and testing the waters to see what you’re made of. No matter what, this world will still spin and propel forward. We should act accordingly.

But I figured that I’ll take a rest from this ravenous cat and mouse game. Only long enough to re-connect with my creative side. I need to sharpen the blades, reload on some ammo. Finish a script or two. Then it’s time to unload on this city. Figuratively of course.

Supporting the camp… Watching Paranormal Activity 3 with a beautiful lady.

News on Killcam dropping in the next 24 hours!!! This is going to be huge (hopefully) I’m really psyched that I finally get to share my directorial debut with all of you.

Stay tuned!
#layingcornerstones

Stay tuned. That’s a wrap!!! Promise to deliver more info as soon as I can. 

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. SOON SOON.

filmofilia:

Zombies Ate My Neighbors adaptation is in early development. Sounds familiar?

Well, of course, I’m sure you all remember this Super Nintendo game that was released back in 1993. And, just in case you’re wondering who will be responsible for this adaptation, we’re here to clear things out for you!

via Zombies Ate My Neighbors Based on the ’90s Video Game in Development.

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